Small Steps: 87 | 5 Things I’ve Been Working on Recently

87 | 5 Things I’ve Been Working on Recently

May 27, 2020

A more personal episode, I’m sharing 5 things I’ve been thinking about and working on during this time. I also share small steps that I’ve taken and am taking as I work through them.

Small Steps in the Show:

Internalized Capitalism/Rest/How to Show Up at this Time

Recognizing how much of a thing that was that i work with, how big and old of a pattern it is for me
Reminding myself in the moment and not in the moment that my worth isn’t tied in what i make or produce
Telling myself that it was okay to rest and that's also liberatory
Recognizing what tired feels like in my body and how overworking has manifested itself in my body
checking in with myself and how i'm feeling physically and emotionally and NOT stuffing that down
Finding things that are fun to do that are just for me (knitting, reading fiction, watching shows)
Working on my social media boundaries that might fuel the internalized capitalism
Constantly reminding myself that i’m a whole ass person who has to also take care of themselves
I always am worth taking care of myself
Reminding myself of what’s true for me and my life (h/t Dr Tee)
Reminding myself that what i do in enough, i’m not doing this work alone
Reminding myself that rest is important for me and to continue to the do the work longer term
Just because i’m not able to show up full force now doesn’t mean i can’t and won’t later
Having kindness and compassion for myself

Clothing and Fatphobic Thoughts

Wearing the “bigger” clothes and just doing what I need to do
Allowing myself to dress how I felt that day
Remembering that these voices were internalized things, that no one is saying this to me right now
Getting curious about that voice and knowing it wasn’t really mine
Reminding myself that my appearance isn’t the most important thing about me
Extending kindness and compassion to myself as voices came up

Comfort Foods

Listening to what I really wanted to eat and trusting that
Noticing when those judgy thoughts came up and getting curious about where those came from
Remembering that I have other choices to make with other meals if any weird feelings came up
Stating what I needed when my body did have reactions
Taking action when my body did have reactions (adding in supportive foods, taking it easier on other things, adding in more water and rest, recognizing stress is a big factor as well)
Checking in with myself and what i need
Separating my body size and my worth
Understanding, realizing and accepting that being a larger body size isn’t a bad thing